Please, be mindful of what you say.

When I was 10 or 11 years old, a family member told me my voice was very irritating. I looked back at this years later and realized the circumstances, and the stress this person was feeling,and how the stess wasn't really being caused by me, but I was caught in the cross-fire, so to speak.
My singing voice really was not so hot, and didn't really evolve until I was in my 20s. I had a revalation about my speaking voice through a brilliant vocal coach in my early 30s. I left one voice-mail for him, probably rambling on as I do, and he called back later and proceeded to analize my voice, and inadvertantly analyized my life in the process. He said I wasn't speaking with my true voice; that I was holding it in a specifically narrowed range, and it was likely because I had been in the music business, around men most of the time, and so was trying to sound like them, to be taken seriously. This was before we even got to the singing lessons, where he was able to show me I had 5 more notes at the top of my register that I didn't believe were there.
So, in the past decade or so, I have not only sung, but occasionally recorded speaking parts for ads, political or commercial, at my husband's studio - I usually saw this as 'pick up' work when the real professionals weren't available. This year, I was asked to be 'the voice' for all the ads for 'Kenai Fjord Tours' for the summer. A friend of mine owns an ad agency and has loads of clients, and staff, and a wealth of professional voice talent to draw from, and he picked me. My first reaction was to ask Kurt a bunch of questions: He wants me? Why? Does he owe you a favor? Does he owe me a favor? etc etc.  It took Kurt a few minutes to sort out what I was saying, and he had to get it through the layer of 'my voice is irritating' so I could hear it: that my voice is compelling (okay, not every minute of every day, but that I had access to that when trying for it) and that it is pleasing to hear, that it could do this job.  Here I am at 44 years old, and this information brings tears to my eyes.
I had to confirm this with my dear friend, who owns the ad company. He thinks I should put together a 'reel' of these ads, and read some others, and go after even more voice work - that I could be in that national database of talent that he and every other ad agency in the country can turn to. Thanks to digital everything, you don't have to be in the same city anymore.
My daughter is 11. I can see it in her, how anything and everything that is said to her, about her, leaves an indelible impression right now. She is beginning the search for herself. I'll bite my own tongue off before I say anything in anger or stress that puts her down.

Slavery

John Newton wrote the words to Amazing Grace, and the melody is listed as unknown. What is known about the music is presented here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMF_24cQqT0&feature=player_embedded#! and explained so beautifully by Wintley Phipps. The thought of the slaves from West Africa in the belly of John Newton's ship, singing a song of sorrow together makes me weep. I can still cry for the almost unimaginable abuses the African American people suffered.
The thought of children forced to work in factories today, and the basically enslaved state of most women around the world (it is a majority of us) gives me a heavy sadness. I don't know anybody who thinks about it the way I do. Maybe I do, and they don't discuss it.

Then You'll Know I Love You

Then You'll Know I Love You

Musical Therapy

Not having my identity partially defined as 'sings in a band' is still messing with my head. Singing songs from our set list, or other new pop tunes, inevitably gives me an ache in the chest. The only musical outlet I have at the moment is my original material. Another song has started, for children, and adults for that matter, who are pushed into things before they are ready to do them. The song will likely be called "When You're Ready." I get irritated at myself when I hear the argument bubbling up in my own mind about how my kids need to be tough to handle themselves in the world, as justification for all the push push push. First of all, to quote a friend, my life is not that tough! Listen, we're not trying to scrabble out an existence on a garbage heap outside Mexico City; so let's put it in perspective here. About the hardness of our lives.
I am an advocate now for compassion, for a more gentle approach, for giving a child time, for seeing their own pace.
I may end up doing an album, a collection, I don't know what to call it, of music for sensitive kids, a soothing and supportive musical experience. One of the pieces is done, I'll post a link to it now, and there are more to be recorded.